Business Data Analysis...is a waste of my time

Not because the knowledge attempting to be transferred about the amazing coding abilities of "VBA" isn't important, but after 8 hours of work, NOT going to the gym and trying to halfway pay attention during the first 2 hours of this nonsense she's lost me.  And by the looks of everyone's computers around me,  she's lost everyone else too.  So secret blog stalkers I shall update you on what is happening.  #1 I'm taking a graduate level course called Business Data Analysis for which this is the textbook:


And for you other dummies out there who don't know what "VBA" is, it stands for Visual Basic A-something (application maybe?) and its that program where you create "macros."  For those of you that don't use Excel and prefer to get by with your pretty face and amazing personality this whole rant is irrelevant.

Ugh.

Signs of the apocalyse: I bought a house.

Alright, It's June and 100 bagillion degrees outside and I'm going to do a blog post today.  For those hypothetical readers that know me, I am a list maker.  To Do, Pros/Cons, Bucket, Timelines, you name it, I make it. 

So let's rewind about 5 years ago.  It's 2006, I've just completed my Junior year in college and I'm starting my internship at a Fortune 500 company downtown instead of my ussual summer "rock star tour."  So I'm sure I made a list that looked something like this for the next 5 years:

2007 - graduate, goof off as a cheer camp counselor for another summer, and start graduate school in the fall at a prestigious international business school
2009 - graduate from said international business school, and join the Peace Corps where I get sent to sunny South America, speak fluent Spanish and almost immediately meet and marry a tall, smart, God-fearing, Doctor without borders.
2011 - Me and my dashing Doctor husband would come back to Oklahoma, buy a house and I'd begin working at my high profile Internatinal Marketing career.

Well, that's not quite how it worked out, but I don't regret it, because I've gotten to do a lot of cool things since then and in the course of that time found out who I am, and what I want out of life.  And at the end, we still end up kind of in the same spot...buying a house.

First, I didn't get into graduate school right  so I started looking and panicing about finding a job simply so I wouldn't have to move back in with my mommy and daddy.

But, I got a job that eventually led me to developing a career that I enjoy and am good at.  And eventually DID get into graduate school with all expenses paid by my employer.

And while I haven't gotten to live abroad or get married; I've gotten to go to Japan, Ghana, and hopefully India (this year).  All the while, making some awesome friends, running a marathon, and accomplishing a lot of other things like becoming a CFP, CTFA, graduating from the LOYAL program and buying a house.  I've proven to myself that I can live on my own, take care of myself, and make my own decisions.

God is good.

Scary Things

In my everyday sheltered mundane life there are a few things that REALLY scare me.  No, not terrorist attacks, cancer, or spiders...but DRIVING ON ICE.

It straight up petrifies me.  To the degree that I stress about it for days.  Now, here's some context.  I live in Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.  Tornado sirens?  No problem.  Running a marathon against 40 mph wind? Well, that really sucked but not terrifying.  Fluke hail storm?  Annoying, but not really something to get tied in knots over. 

Oklahoma averages about 1-2 freezing rain and ice storms per year and during those annual occurances you can witness normal mild mannered Oklahomans LOSING THEIR MINDS.

Today is one of those days.  Saturday, it was 70+ degrees, and although I squandered it doing homework it was nice enough to be wearing shorts.  But today, Monday, it's another story...It reminds me of a skit from Bill Engvall:

"And oh, don't let it snow in Texas...SHUT THE STATE DOWN...You'd see Wally Weatherman:

'Up to an inch of snow is headed to your area. We urge you to steal food and horde gas. If you are an elderly American...you will not make it through this storm.'

So being a good Oklahoman I naturally filled up my gas tank, went to the grocery store to get food rations for at least a month, made sure the flashlights had batteries, and put blankets in the car yesterday.  I take it seriously y'all.



This is ACTUALLY what the weather gods (Gary England) is predicting to happen later today..

"Chances of ice on roadways could snarl traffic Tuesday. Rain and freezing drizzle is expected in the Oklahoma City area tonight.
Snow is not expected to start until about 9 tonight and continue Tuesday with gusts of wind as high as 34 mph and plummeting temperatures.
Power outages are possible."

SNARL TRAFFIC?!?!  panic Panic PANIC!!!!

I've cancelled all my meetings, and have all but refused to be present at work tommorrow and probably Wednesday too. 

Safety First.

4 minutes...18 seconds...hrrrrumph

Alright so it's two days after Christmas, and hardly anybody managed to crawl into work this morning.  I myself wandered in about 8:35am only to find that not only am I the only female in the office but the only one in my department...awesome.

Now for those of you who work with men, you all know that when no female is present they all but turn into useless piles of dung without the slightest idea how to perform basic tasks such as: opening mail, answering the phone, refilling the copier with paper, or wiping themselves.

But between feigning pity on these poor helpless creatures, I've been working on learning to solve the Rubik's cube.  What actually inspired me was this video of Justin Bieber http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXEbMzyOekI who can solve the dang thing in 90 seconds.  My inate competitive nature immediately took control and I logically decided that if this shaggy haired 16 year-old youtube sensation can do it, SURELY I myself as a well-educated investment professional can do it too...and faster.  WRONG.

So, having a couple weeks off of school to work on this little project; I scurried out to the store to purchase my Rubik's cube.  Note:  It is not a "Rubix" cube as I had always assumed, but the correct spelling is "Rubik's" with a "k." 

Day 1, I basically spent my entire afternoon following step-by-step instructions online about how to solve it.  Then I just walked away...



BUT dear friends, I can now say that after spending 48 hours straight with my family I can now solve it.  I even tried to teach my 92 year old grandmother...she was unsuccessful, which secretly made me feel like maybe I'm not such an idiot (I mean think of all that life knowledge she has).

Slowly and surely I'm getting it...I average 13 minutes...just now, I sat on the phone with a client talking her off the ledge about taxes for 25 minutes and didn't get it solved in that whole time, but I'm blaming it on conflicting attentions.  My record is 4'18" and I'm coming for you Bieber.

How to Fail

I recently came across a review for the book "How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide.  A novel by Aaron Golfarb, a native of Oklahoma City.  I have not read the book, nor is this an endorsement for it...but it gave me the idea to write down some commentary on some of the relationship fails, faulters, and other extreme crash & burn scenarios I have PERSONALLY encountered in my many years of successful dating failure.  Fair warning, no names are mentioned to protect the diginity of the guilty...even if I do have a blog nobody reads.



1.  (starting with the most recent)  How to fail: continue to watch movies on your ex-girlfriend's Netflix account

2.  How to fail:  on a FIRST date do not at dinner say: "I don't really like this place" after your date has already ordered then sit and creepily watch her eat.

3.  How to fail: do not admit that the reason you had to leave the table was to go to the bathroom and vomit because you were too nervous to eat with me

4.  How to fail:  if slumdog millionaire is sold out, do not take your date to see 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' despite her saying that's fine

5.  How to fail: show up at my front door in jorts and your five fingers when meeting friends for dinner

6.  How to fail: not show up to help me move, because you were sleeping in after a long night of video game playing... then have the nerve to pop over later and expect some lovin'

7. How to fail: poop your pants (no need to elaborate)

No cavities

Great news!  No cavities!  But as always, I should really try to floss more, and utilizing the SonicCare electric toothbrush would really make a difference if I'm not committed to the daily flossing routine.

But back to the shoes.  I was first introduced to them by a fellow I was dating at the time who wore them religiously.  At the gym, out to dinner, on the golf course, you name it.  I thought they were goofy and ugly.  I implied this fact repeatedly but he continued to wear them claiming that he had some foot problems in the past and that they were really helping with the injury.  He also continued to harp on and on about this book:  Born to Run : A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougal and insisting that I read it.

Now, I have this thing, when somebody recommends a book to me, and specifically if they let me borrow it...I'm going to read it.  I just think if somebody in my life feels passionately enough to bring me a book to read, it's worth my time.  This is no exception.

So this book; if you are a runner...READ IT.  It will change the way you look at running, shoes, and invigorate you to run, not harder, but smarter.  Which leads me to the shoes.  The book goes into depth about leg injuries from running and how many of them can be from the type of running shoes we're wearing.  See, our feet are designed to run on the balls, in more of a prace like a chetah or an ostrich.  Running shoes are designed to pad the heel and most of us even have the audacity to add orthopedics for increased arch support.  I am guilty of this myself when I ran my marathon.  What happens though is you begin to rely too heavily on your heels when you run, especially as you tire, shooting pressure up your legs and causing injury to the IT band, knee, hip, shin splints, etc.

Humans have been running barefoot for thousands of years. There are 26 bones in the foot, and God designed and engineered them especially for running.  Nike running shoes have only been around for about 50 years.  Try running around your front lawn barefoot; you'll start to notice your posture improves, you step lighter, and your calves will be burning.

So...after being presented with the research I decided to give in and purchase the Vibrams, and even swollowing my pride and sent my ex an apology text for doubting.  I'd been running in them on the treadmill for about 2 weeks before attempting a race Thanksgiving Day.  It was cold and the race was all on concrete so I opted NOT to wear the Vibrams but as I was running I continued to follow the posturing, and I could tell a serious difference in my leg strength up and down the hills.  And that was that, I was hooked. 

Plus, it's kind of fun.

okay, post #2

Greetings, I don't know why I bother with a salutation.  I'm the only one reading this, but I kind of like it that way.  It means I can mercilessly make fun of my parents and other people in my life.  Today my focus will be my newest change of heart towards the Vibram 5 finger shoes...

I recently purchased them at MetroShoe Warehouse (which by the way if you haven't been in there, it's awesome has lots of North Face gear, shoes, purses, etc).  And I bought the obnoxious pink ones in the picture.  But WHY?!?!? did I buy these hideous shoes?  I'm glad you asked...but I'm going to leave you hanging until I get back from the dentist. 

Now I'm really regretting that brocolli I had for lunch.